Happy Birthday Momma

In June 1940, the United States was still over a year away from officially entering the second World War. The Deep South was still reeling from the Great Depression.  Poverty was nothing new to Jimmy and Earlene Tucker. Both grew up in hard working families depending on their hard work to scratch out a living. How Jimmy and Earlene met, I do not know. All I have are the stories. I know they were married in a small church visible to anyone taking a ride on highway 65  near Sondheimer, Louisiana. On Sunday, December 26th, 1937, Miss Earlene Mahala Roach became the new bride of James Levere Tucker. The two were married by Reverend Walters. Two of Earlene’s brothers, Velton and Jeff, served as witnesses.

Life would never be considered easy. At the age of 17, Earlene gave birth to her first child, a son. Less than 5 months later, James Thomas Tucker died quite suddenly while sleeping between his parents. The cause… the death certificate states aortic thrombosis. Eleven months later, on the 8th day of June, at 4:00 am, came Mary Helen Tucker. Of course it was 4am. Mary Helen would be the only daughter born to Jimmy and Earlene. She began her life being the older sister, keeper, friend, warden, and sometimes deliverer of punishment to five younger brothers.

Mary Helen lost her best friend and brother closest in age the day after her 4th birthday. She had lost another little brother 3 months earlier. By the time Earlene was 23, she had buried 3 children. Maybe to ease Mary Helen’s loss, or maybe to get her to stop asking questions, she was given a toy, a doll in fact. Mary Helen did not care for this toy, so it was taken apart and hidden around the house.  Years later she would refer to it as “that ugly ass doll.” Perhaps the first clue that Mary Helen would not be dealing with any nonsense that displeased her.  Gary, born the following year, found this out the hard way. Mary Helen would take some time before she would accept that Gary was not going to suddenly go away too. Mary Helen, it is time to start being nicer to Gary.

Mary Helen married Kenneth Richmond shortly after she turned 18. I do believe this was after her last “whoopin” for wearing either red lipstick or red heels, perhaps both. Such a harlot. The next year brought two of the saddest looking twin boys. They were born at least a month early and were long and scrawny. Mary Helen was unaware she was having twins until the day before she gave birth. The doctor examining gave her an x-ray, yes an X-ray to confirm his suspicions. Mary Helen and Kenneth barely had enough for one baby, much less two. The boys were born early and looked like featherless birds.  Mary Helen sent pictures to her mother in law and the grandmother hid the pictures.  That kind of says it all. To be fair, they were just skinny. After eating the concoction created by the Jewish doctor from the basement, they were beautiful babies.  I still have no idea about the Jewish doctor in the basement story. It seems sketch, but who am I to judge. This would not be the last of garlic and witch hazel remedies the children of Mary Helen would tolerate.

Mary Helen went on to have four more children and a second husband. Her life was in constant motion. Whether it was she, her second husband, Emmett, or a combination of both, the couple seemed to have problems staying in one place and setting down roots. One year in Texas, 4 months in Louisiana, bounce back and forth between Arkansas, Mississippi. Jackson, Little Rock, Camden, Houston, and Tallulah were all places Mary Helen has called home. Life was always in constant, sometimes erratic motion. About 10 years before Emmett died, they landed on a farm in Mississippi. The longest Mary Helen had ever lived in one spot in her whole life. Finally, life was settled. They did not have everything. They had enough and they had each other.

When Emmett died, Mary Helen’s life fell apart for just a bit. Life fell apart for quite a few of us. Emmett was larger than life. He had a smile and a joke for almost everyone. There were also times he was an absolute ass. Mary Helen never backed down. Good or bad, you do not back Mary Helen down. It is best that anyone who deals with her understands this. However, Mary Helen, you do need to realize there are tranquilizers before you get too scrappy.

Mary Helen’s life has not been easy. However, this is not what she says. She is thankful and has found a way to keep her humor and wits about her. She will tell you, she didn’t know she was poor. This still gets me. The people she considered poor were the relatives that had spaces in the floor. The pigs that would get under the house would kick up dust when fighting. I really wish I was making this up, but no. Those were the poor people. However, I guess she had a point. She was better off than that… I guess. They only used old tires for elastic in their hand stitched underwear.

Mary Helen, momma, you have seen and experienced so much. Momma’s jobs are never easy. We are never going to do it right or to please. You have lived your life and have  always had the perspective to find joy and appreciate what you have. You have survived through what would break most. Your strength, stubbornness, determination, and wisdom has filtered down to subsequent generations. While I used to be somewhat irritated to be referred to as “Mary Helen #2”, I now consider that a compliment. You have shown us life is what you make it. Whining will not solve anything. If you want something, work for it. There is a reason we tell our kids at the end of a nuclear war, there will be cockroaches and Mary Helen… aka Granny.

Happy Birthday Momma!!! Disney may not make a movie out of your life, but it has been an adventure for sure. We cannot wait to see the next chapters. Hope you have a great birthday!!! We love you.

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