I am not entirely sure how I arrived at this day. How did 16 years of my life pass so quickly? Sixteen years ago on this date, through a bit of emergency pomp and circumstance, two little girls made Tim and I a family. Anna, first at 6:14 p.m., arriving loud and angry. Who is surprised? Emily, after a dramatic 2 minutes, came into the world needing just a bit more intervention. A lifetime seemed to pass before I heard that second cry, not quite as strong as the first, but still present. If this was a movie, from the moment of that second cry until this instant would be presented as a blur of activity with instances pausing just briefly enough to allow the viewer to realize time had indeed passed. Every day, every year, every achievement, and even every failure brings the crashing realization you are no longer babies. Well, girls, I hate to be the one to inform you, but you always will be mine.
I love you. I’m proud of you. You are beautiful. You are smart. Yes, if someone hurts you, I will chop them in tiny pieces and distribute them across the US like a jigsaw puzzle. Ok… maybe not ALL parents say ALL those things to their kids, but hopefully, kids grow accustomed to hearing the praise and do not truly understand. They do not understand that from the moment they arrive, we as parents, are secondary. Instantly, our priorites shift from us to them. We as adults, we as parents, see every horrible thing in the world. Every danger that could be lurking around any and every corner. Sometimes to a point where the world appears dark, almost pitch black. In the blackness, our children are points of light. We are raising points of light, and when they join the other points of light, the brilliance can (hopefully) become almost blinding.
Anna Elizabeth… you will be a force in which to be reckoned. You were born angry and opinionated. I am sorry I was still under heavy sedation the first time you were brought to the hospital room, but your daddy had you. He will probably never admit it, but he was wrapped around your tiny finger in that instant. You refused to eat for us. Losing 5 of the ounces you were born with in the first few days. We brought you home weighing less than 5 pounds. I guess if buffalo wild wing formula would have been a thing, maybe that would not have happened.
Watching you become an adult, seeing your determination, and letting nothing or no one deter you from your goals is what every parent wants. Your humor, your smile, your compassion and concern for the people around you make me want to be a better person. Parents are suppose to be the teachers and the children learn from us. Everyday, I learn more about the person I will hopefully one day become from you and your siblings. Happy 16th birthday baby girl.
Emily Rose… your sweet spirit has healed me more than once. The first week of your life was an emotional rollercoaster for everyone on board. The blaring alarm yelling at us that you were not, for a brief amount of time, were not receiving adequate oxygen. I hated that machine, yet was terrified without it. A week of test to determine the cause and nothing was found. The medical staff sent you home with us. I wanted you there, to be monitored 24/7, but we brought you home. I could not sleep if I knew you were not being watched. I think I have always been more protective of you, and yet you have always shown me “you’ve got this.”
Your obstacles have changed and will continue to change. Despite trepidation, you always, ALWAYS, give your best. Bravery in the face of fear is courage. You, sweet girl, are one of the most courageous people I know. You never give up and you never back down. You push forward, while helping others climb with you. Continue to reach for the stars baby girl.
Most parents are proud of their children. Many parents have children that excel, succeed, have a helping heart and spirit. I have 3 children, well except the attic children (inside joke, please do not call DHS because the state of attic may be considered hoarding), I have 3 children that have exceeded any and all expectations that I, as a mother, could have. Two of those children arrived exactly when I needed them most. They came a month early. My heart was broken from losing my father. Maybe they felt the sadness. I don’t know. They came when I needed them and have had my heart, my every thought, breath, and decision since then.
Happy, Happy 16th baby girls. You are inching ever closer to adulthood and we could not be prouder. Yet, no matter how old you get, both of you will always be my baby girls. I love you both so very much.
