Mom Quilt Begins

Well, hello there everyone. And by everyone I mean the 4 people in my family that I am forcing to read my new blog. The internet was getting a little light on new blogs so I am throwing my opinion out on the world wide web for everyone to enjoy. I am taking a break from domestic bliss and having deep, meaningful conversations with my three teenagers. I mean there are only so many times you can answer, “How was your day, mom?” before the answers get stale. After I have heard all the details of their day, peppered with their hopes and fears thrown in, it is time to chase down the free range chicken roaming in the well manicured lawn to cook with a  lovely side of  kale and tofu salad I found on Pinterest. I’ve being wanting to try this, but we had to finish the chia seed and fennel diet first.

In case you cannot tell, the only thing in the above paragraph that is even remotely true, is the fact that I have 3 teenagers. At least I think its three. With the amount of clothes I wash, I assume there are people that live here that I have not yet met.  Also,  since I never see them except to hear them complain about  dinner, I am not actually sure who is here most of the time.  My kids are doing exactly what they should be doing in this stage in their life. They are asserting their independence, treating their parents like we are barely smart enough to dress ourselves. They are sarcastic, they are grouchy, they are unimpressed by literally everything. So… even though I know all of this is perfectly normal behavior, I am choosing to write about my life as a mom of teenagers instead of choking them.  I love my kids. They make not only proud, but they make me laugh. Laughing is my favorite thing in the world. I need air, water, food, and laughter. Maybe not in that order.

Sooner than I want to admit, these people will not live here anymore. I  cannot wrap my mind around this concept. I have had friends and family that have gone through children graduating and leaving the house.  When the house either has less children, or no children left at home, the abrupt change is hard. You go from feeding an army, and washing 100’s of loads of clothes a week, and basically living in the grocery store, to an entirely different life. There are days where that idea sounds wonderful. However, when all three of my kids are gone overnight for whatever reason, I don’t like it. Even though I have two college degrees, a profession, many hobbies, my main identity is a mom. I will always be a mom, but when this main priority is no longer home or under my control, I need to know who I am, in addition to mom.

Having three kids in two years changes you. Not only did my body turn into broke elastic, my days changed drastically. I was saying sentences that I had never had to utter before. “Don’t play in the toilet.” “Please stop putting the play doh in your nose.” “Where are your pants?” “What is that smell?” I wanted to be that mom that made the baby food from fresh, organic vegetables and fruits. I wanted to fingerprint and take them to the zoo. There may be moms that can take two 3 year olds and a 2 year old to the zoo, and not turn into a raving lunatic, however, I learned very early I am not that mom.

I also learned very early my husband and I created a sub-species of brilliant, yet sarcastic, gang mentality children. They could not count, but knew there were more of them than there were of us.  Everyone wants smart children, if for no other reason but to flaunt your superiority as breeding stock. However, what you don’t realize is that smart children are harder to entertain. I spent one afternoon drawing shapes on a huge sheet of manilla paper.  I wrote the name of the shape underneath and then cut out corresponding shapes for them to match. (See, good, involved, parenting). So I brought the gang in to be entertained for hours. After about 3 minutes, all of the shapes were matched up except to circle. It was over to the side. I asked if they needed help. They just looked at me with sadness and superiority in their eyes. They kind of  have always been little condescending assholes. Anyway, they said no. I asked about the circle, why is it not placed. They collectively told me the shape on the paper said circle and the shape I cut out was an oval. Do you realize what it feels like to have 3 and 4 year olds to tell you your scissor skills need work?

I need to prepare for my life when my kids are not in my house any longer. They have been what I eat, breathe, and live every second of every day. So, I am telling stories and sharing hobby tips. We can do this moms. They love us, they just can’t tell us or they lose “street cred points”.

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